Perspective… It’s silly Wednesday, Feb 3 2010 

So I got Scarlett back from the shop and I realized I felt that I was sitting lower than usual. This was odd to me because she’s so tiny. She’s not really a big car at all. Of course she’s purring like a new baby and super happy to reach 4th gear, but I felt lower in the car. May I’m just used to riding around in Mountain-bot (Halo’s car) or maybe it’s just that I wasn’t in the car for a day and it made my perception different… I don’t know.

Anywho I was taking her on the freeway today and I realized that my head rest was higher than I usually have it. I fixed the positioning on my head rest and sure as shit…. I felt like I was right as rain in Scarlett. Weird huh? Perspective is a weird thing.

I think it’s interesting to be so involved with a project, say hmmmm like Rogue! While dealing with each individual task it’s feeling like nothing is getting done and there’s no progress. I can understand that I’m accomplishing a brand new task and not getting the usual work done that I used to do with my other tasks… but it’s different. Having meetings making to do lists… it’s all piling up and it seems that I won’t hit the end of my list in time. Prioritizing the deadlines are crucial in this sense because we have Press articles that need to be in to the Editor before they go to print. It’s a crazy crazy business. But when I look back on how much we’ve accomplished so far it’s amazing all the work that has already gotten done! So I guess when you’re feeling down and feeling like you’re running up a glacier and slipping, just take a step back and looka tt eh bigger picture and you’ll see how far you’ve really come!

One step at a time….

Rogue To Do List:

  • Undercurrent Articles
  • Community Alliance articles
  • housing assignments
  • mardi gras shopping
  • meetings
  • volunteer workshops
  • tech set up
  • closing party award do-dads
  • etc., etc., etc.

Much Needed Media Blackout Monday, Feb 1 2010 

Well not really a Media Blackout as I watched tv most of the afternoon…. but I didn’t pick up my Crackberry once! I was needing to just ignore my responsibilities and the Rogue madness as of late and decided a full day without my connection to the outside world would be good. And you know what?? It was so nice to not have my phone go off every 5 minutes. It’s been such a crazy time, with the Rogue gearing up (well I’ve been all Rogue all the time for months now) and the Mardi Gras parade coming up, Super Bowl parties and the like! Oy Vey!

The Rogue Map is to the printer, I need to jump on the hospitality things and I’ve scheduled multiple meeting for the upcoming Festival. Performers are getting ready and settling down…. getting a 3rd venue secured took a TON of stress off! I have multiple meetings this week, a presentation to prepare for next week and little tasks to do in order to better prep everything.

::PHEW!::

I think I’ve sent out hundreds of emails today and am continuing the massive question and answer time period for those that don’t know Rogue. Oh yeah, I also need to write a 1500 word article for the Undercurrent…. ok, yeah I need to get in gear. Thank goodness for my one day and I’ll look forward to another one of those after March 15th.

Ham Radio??? Wednesday, Jan 27 2010 

I’m studying for the Technician class of Ham Radio Licenses. It’s Scientific. I’m learning about how electricity behaves. It’s confusing. Possibly one of the hardest pieces of material I’ve had to read. It’s hard. But I’m going to get my license and understand what to do with it damn it!

The ARRL (Amateur Radio Relay League) puts out a handbook (not the one pictured to the left) that allows you to study for the license test and hopefully pass it with flying colors. The book is extremely helpful and has many references to their website. It’s nice to have multiple tutors and study guides at your convience.

I find that if I read the book with Halo, he is getting his Advanced Technician (level 3) license, he’s able to help me understand what I’m reading. Except we’re so busy right now it’s hard to have that sit down time at all. Plus it’s hard so I’m reluctant to avidly read it. What needs to happen is a bearing down and just plowing through the materials. I’ve found that I want to understand all the concepts I’m reading and they will be explained later and I’m not wanting to move forward thus stagnating myself in my learning process. It’s frustrating to not easily grasp a concept. Talk about Shakespeare or Donne or English sub textual communication and I could talk for hours. Talk about the Rogue and I could talk for days. Talk about Ham Radios and I’m lost after 5 minutes.

::sigh::

Just buck up and get through it, right?? Sure. There’s a lot of information to cover before the February 20th test. And with the Super Bowl and Mardi Gras coming up…. it’s going to take dedication and resolve to get through it.

Then there’s also the job hunt. The Iron Bird Cafe’s opening date is now pushed back to March 1st. I’ve littered the main parts of Fresno with my resume and applications and there’s nothing biting. I will be looking for a way to get student loans and maybe just hit up the school thing again. I need to talk to a counselor.

I feel like a slacker, a failure. It’s hard and maybe I’m not doing enough. This effects not only me, but those around me that expect me to be successful. Again…. it just takes bearing down and going for it. I guess I’ve been lazy long enough. It’s time to actually get serious and make something happen.

Poor Poor Scarlett! Tuesday, Jan 26 2010 

So… ok ok I’ve been putting this off for a while. Scarlett has had her check engine light on for a long long time. I haven’t exactly had the means to pay…. ok I”m lying it wasn’t a high priority for me. Scarlett ran ok, she just never hit 4th gear! My registration is up in February and I needed to get Scarlett smogged for the first time. That means I need to fix her so I can then get her smogged and then make my registration payment… easy right??

Dr. Dave is a mechanic and so I thought I was going to be smooth sailing. But Dr. Dave can’t work on Mazdas. Crap! I asked him to recommend me to someone trustworthy. I mean seriously, I’m a chick. I walk into a mechanic place and have the word ’sucker’ across my forehead! I know NOTHING about cars and I don’t really understand too much about maintenance other than put gas in and change the oil. Dr. Dave sent my to his friend Russ at Auto Performance Lab. Wow, does Russ know his stuff. I asked him to look at the back breaks and see if they were in need of fixing because I hear noises back there when I break. And sure enough they do need replacing. And then the check engine light is on because of some dohickie that makes the sensor thingy transition over for my car and basically making it possible for Scarlett to reach 4th gear! I’m listening to Russ tell me about the cost and labor and diagnostics and hearing the cash register ring up. I was super worried that this would drain my bank account when there’s not much int here to begin with! But when it’s all said and done?? I’m getting outta there for under $400! Whew!!!

If you’re in Fresno I highly recommend going to Russ and letting him work on your car. He’s the MAN! Oh and if you have a GM go to Dr. Dave cause he rocks also!

A big Thank you to Marcel for picking me up at the shop, I was really honestly too lazy to walk from McKinley & Clark to Olive & Broadway.

Ok… so there… I blogged again!

Out of Retirement? Thursday, Jan 21 2010 

I haven’t been on here in quite some time. Causes?? Life. Busy. Stress. And the whole I’m still not at a job where I sit in front of a computer for multiple hours a day. A reason for blogging today?? The horrendous experience at the DMV.

Ok so this started on the 19th. I had to renew my license before the 20th. I went to the DMV at 1:00 pm. Waited 2.5 hours to see someone only to find out that our wonderful court system did not process a payment to a ticket I made back in November. While sitting at the DMV I call the court and talk to someone about the situation. They show I have $0 balance and need to put it through their computer system to release the hold on my license. This takes me to 5pm on the 19th. I’m screwed. I have to go back the morning of the 20th. So I get up and am there at 8:30 am. I think I’m late snce they open at 8 am right??? NOPE! They don’t open until 9 am. So I’m standing in line for 30 minutes waiting for the doors to open. Mind you we’ve been having a storm of epic porportions and I’m standing in the rain. Oh and I also have to take a lovely id pic too…. argh! Finally, the doors open and I get my number. The clerk I talked to at the court system actually called me back (totally above and beyond if you ask me!) to apologize and there were computer glitches and such but don’t worry it’s all fixed. Cool I thought. So I’m waiting to see someone at the DMV and it takes about an hour. I see the same clerk that helped me on the 19th. Coolness. I take my written, pass. Take the pic, not too shabby. And I’m outta there.

I promptly get ready for my lunch date with the Dad and as I’m headed out a mishap of embarrassing proportions occurs. I will not delve into details, it was bad I’m leaving it at that. I’m now running late for my lunch and as I get on the (still raining) wet highway I merge into the fast lane to pick up some time and get pulled over by the UC I merged in front of. He says how I’m driving too fast in the rain and regardless of my proper blinker usage he had to “slam” on his brakes. Yeah Yeah. I apologize and tell him I though there was room. I’m not in hysterics, I don’t use an excuse, but I hand him my license that’s expiring. D’Oh! Ok so technically it’s still legal. So cool. I’m preparing to hand him my paper license renewal proof and he comes back and tells me he’s going to let me go. AWESOME! I make it to lunch on time and my lesson is learned.

Work…. well work yesterday was fun. I had a good time. And I loved all the people that came out and hung out. It was very nice to be around friends after a hectic day.

Oh yeah… if I forgot to tell you, yesterday was my Birthday.

In other news:

The Rogue is coming along. There has been many many snafu’s but we’re handling everything one at a time. It should be good and we’ll get everything all set for the beginning in March. Did you see the Muse?

Yeah, I like her. She’s going to look amazing on the T-Shirt. Cool!

Ok, so no promises on a regular posting or anything. Or maybe I’ll come back and be good about it…. who knows.

Ack!!! Tuesday, Sep 22 2009 

Rogue, Rogue, Rogue your boat…. actually it’s my boat. It’s work, work, work all the time, but it’s keeping me sane in that I haven’t gotten a full-time job yet. (still waiting for that phone call and I know there are 2 pending….timing is key) ARGH. But good news is we’ve found The Muse and the Artist is stoked to have her piece used for the project. We’ll unveil soon, promise! Applications are just around the corner and the days are quickly filling up with meetings or things to do to prep for the Festival. Yippee!

I’ve been hanging out and working as much as I can at the Grill and Starline. I’ll be there tonight for the Indie bands and such. It should be fun. Last night Pecha Kucha ROCKED my face. I loved serving that crowd. They were SO courteous to one another and when I was slammed, they weren’t annoyed with me, they waited their turn and even told me who was at the bar first. It was SO refreshing!!! Good job Pecha Kucha crowd!

Lots on my mind lately. Trying to find balance and working out mind, body and spirit more. I’ve felt lately that my spirit is broken and that sucks big time. So it’s through contemplation and meditation that I find balance and growth. It’s all about growing and trying to find a better path in life that enriches you and those around you.

Two weekends ago we were in Sacramento and saw the Capitol Air Show… pretty cool. Last weekend had a girlie day which was much needed. Saw Love Happens and had a fantastic cry. Weird how females can get together and really bond over silly things like crying at a sappy movie, and then spending way too much time in REI and in Barnes & Nobles. There’s still lots to do and more to write about, but I’m gross from my pilates workout and need a shower!

Love you all and I’ll be commenting on your blogs soon, promise.

Happy Labor Day!!! Monday, Sep 7 2009 

It’s that holiday weekend and we’ve been working hard. Rogue is fast coming and the Grill is great! I hope you all are having a safe and wonderful holiday weekend. :)

Muse Muse, who’s got the Muse??? Thursday, Sep 3 2009 

Well it’s that time again and we’re searching for a Muse for the Rogue Festival. Applications are up and coming (October 1st, eesh!). But I actually think we’ve found one, all I need is confirmation from Dr. O and Wonder Twin 2 and then it’s courting the artist. JOY!

Sleepy…. I want bed time. Work is up and coming though so it’s off to the shower to de-stink and then to perdify…

Oh and it’s official… bringing words back from my youth is on the circut. Dude, totally radical!

Argh! Tuesday, Aug 25 2009 

As much as I’d like to be I am not computer savvy.

I need help! I’m looking for an online application that is on wordpress and that will feed into a database. I want to decide what goes into the database. Can I create an application form? For the Rogue Festival, we are trying to revamp some stuff and I simply do not have the knowledge or wherewith all to be able to master this task. Grrr! Does someone out there have any suggestions. Whenever I search it, I get those silly apps…. thank you iPhone, you bitch.

Still on the job hunt. I’m looking for a full time job that will sustain me. I’m also needing to make sure I can get benefits somewheres. ::sigh:: I am extremely thankful to those of you that have sent warm wishes and positive thoughts. I’m hoping something will turn around here in the near future!

In the meantime, working the Grill and hiking and taking yoga and trying not to fall into the deepest darkest depression I’ve known in a while. It’s on the brink, but I don’t want to fall into the void. Thus the reason I’m babbling on like this. Forcing myself to get up and do something rather than the nothing I’ve allowed myself to do. I’ll be applying for the new Macy’s store that’s opening soon… we’ll see if maybe I’ll get a call back.

I had a really good interview a week or so ago, but my credit score is so shoddy that I wasn’t an eligible candidate for the job….SUCKS!

So…. onward and upward. Positive thoughts are much appreciated!

Yoga Thursday, Aug 20 2009 

This morning I was in front of the Brass Unicorn at 9:45 am. There’s an hour long yoga class in the back room and it was absolutely amazing. I’ve never done yoga before but this class was perfect for those newbies (like myself) and those more experienced yoga-ists. It was a little intimidating because I know none of the poses, downward facing dog and such… but the instructor was really descriptive in her instructions so it was easy to follow. She lead the small class (one of the best things is that it was a small class, more intimate) through the different poses and stretches. My core was found and I was able to sluff off the stress of money woes and jobless worries and just focus on my inner health. It was really nice and I feel more balanced because of it. I highly recommend the class. The instructors are from Sister Yoga, so if you aren’t in the Tower, you can catch one of their classes.

I love Yoga!

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